Speechify

I have a request for humanity. PLEASE stop using the incorrect Engrish phrase “Your guys’”.

e.g. “I would think that, given your guys’ case, we’d be able to deliver the product by the end of calendar year ’05.”

Bonus points if you’re an employee of a Fortune 500 company and you use it during a conference call.

Goddamn, does that annoy the shit out of me, and I went to fucking art school for my undergraduate degree.

I’d also like to suggest public whippings for anybody with a four-year college degree who still doesn’t recognize the difference between Your and You’re. And let’s all please quit it with the excessive quotation marks around normal, everyday things.

e.g. a sign reading:

“FREE CAR WASH”

“BEST IN TOWN”

“NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY”

Irregardless of their incorrectness, I hope you didn’t interrupt to point this out while they were still conversating.

As much as I wanted to, I didn’t. I think I spent the entire time with my eyes closed, fighting off a migraine. Besides, they are in the kind of industry where they could “accidentally” drop some deadly new kind of explosive on my house.

There’s a strip center in a random town on the route between Austin & Houston – it’s one of those strips that’s mostly medical offices & whatnot. At the end of the strip is an office identified by the following huge-ass sign (typed as seen):

THE “DENTISTS”

I love it to an unreasonable degree.

Miss Lis, you made me want to claw my eyes out with the use of irregardless. The tension that creates in my throat makes my voice box hurt.

Also, I would like to add the lovely Indlish sign above the new business down the street: Parvanesh. You’r Convenience Store

Oh, and my favorite: “The Movie Company’s”. Every time I pass that sign I have to yell out, “THE MOVIE COMPANY’S WHAT? ITS CHAIR? ITS SIDEWALK? WHAT?!! AND WHAT, FOR CRAP’S SAKE ARE THOSE QUOTATIONS DOING ON THERE? ARGHHHHH!”

Oh – and I get this one at least once per week: Texas Society of CPA’s

Although irregardless makes me want to bitch slap people, it’s the use of the “word” conversate that really makes me want to peel off my own skin.

I can see your point entirely, but I still have to say that I don’t understand peoples’ predilection for the word irregardless–don’t they see that what they are actually saying is “regard” since both the negatives cancel one another out?

And, I’ll raise you one above conversate: collapstigate. As in, “The wheel of my car collapstigated in the accident, so my friends have to sit all on one side to keep the car balance.”

Heard that one when I worked in insurance.

“collapstigate”? an adult used this word with a straight face?

brain..hurting…vein in temple…throbbing…

Miss Lis, you’d be surprised at how many awful butcheries I heard during that time period. It certainly showed me that I am completely prejudiced against idiots and people with no edjamacatrion.