September 29, 2006

Shut-In Sees Shadow, Runs Back Inside

Wow, four weeks straight behind this desk, with maybe two or three days off in total. I haven't been this productive in years. I'm kind of afraid to venture out of the house, though. That would be a funny thing to film for the local news, wouldn't it? I'd be like that guy they have to winch out of his apartment with a crane: "LOCAL MORLOCK DRAGGED FROM HOME." I'm sure I'd just get out the door, stumble around like a drunk and fall down in the street, which wouldn't be very smart, or newsworthy—or maybe it would? "LOCAL MORLOCK RUN OVER BY BUS."

There's more stuff coming, too, which doesn't bode well for seeing sunlight in October. I may just have to set up a bucket on a pulley with a long rope and dump candy on kids' heads when they ring the doorbell on the 31st. I don't have any idea of what's happening in the Real World other than some asshole shooting up a school in Colorado, my government passing some kind of fascist bill in an effort to make people forget about Iraq, and that it's week two of football season.

My beautiful bride is caught in this vortex of pain with me; between the two of us, we've averaged about eight hours of sleep collectively each night and gone through untold amounts of vodka to make it through crunch time. Mmmmm, delicious vodka. I now have empirical evidence which proves that I can sketch and code just as well at 1 AM with a vodka tonic than I can at 9 AM with a mug of coffee.

In happier news, I got a Big Fat Check on Thursday, which means we can afford the mortgage and they won't repossess our kitchen appliances. Unfortunately, I have lots of other things that need attending as well, so I'm estimating a balance of about $3.42 left in my account on Monday when I'm done paying the Man. Rock and roll. We have a saying here at the Lockardugan Design Collective: "If I Could Just Get Paid." This prefaces or follows pretty much anything else we say these days. e.g.:

"We wouldn't have to hide in the basement from the bill collectors, if I could just get paid."

"I'd go to the doctor and get this itch cleared up, if I could just get paid."

"I could rationalize buying that extra bottle of wine so that we could drink ourselves into a stupor, if I could just get paid."

"I'd win the War On Terror, if I could just get paid."

"I could have kept Anna Nicole Smith's kid alive, if I could just get paid."

Seriously, our letter carrier, a nice, middle-aged woman who greets us with a smile but insists on putting the mail in the box even when we're out standing on the front lawn in our underwear, is getting scared of the bloodshot freaks who scrabble at the box when she turns up the front walk. She's probably seen Morlocks before, but I think we give her that spooky shop-teacher vibe—you know the one, who was really friendly but always smelled funny, looked weird and talked to his tools? Lord only knows what she tells the folks back at the Post Office about the shut-in cat people with the unmowed lawn.

Well, at least our house doesn't smell like litterbox.

Posted on September 29, 2006 4:40 PM | link to this entry

September 27, 2006

Fabulous Gay Men.

Why, oh why, haven't we found Project Rungay before? Fabulous gay men writing bitchy, catty commentary on each episode of Project Runway. What's not to like? We blew a half-hour this morning reading the first page of the site.

If you haven't already guessed, we're excited for the big show this evening. I'm going to grab some wine and we're going to drink each time Uli says "Miami Party Dress", Michael quietly says something hilarious (Captain Save-A-Ho was our favorite), Jeffrey complains about somebody else, or Laura says anything remotely bitchy.

Posted on September 27, 2006 10:29 AM | link to this entry | Comments (1)

September 26, 2006

The Post Wherein Nothing Actually Happens.

That's right. There's not really anything new to report this week, other than working my ass off. The weekend was productive in areas other than the office, though—our yard, which was resembling the craggy face of a man who's lived in a dumpster for five years, got a shave and a shine, so it looks now like people actually live here. The back lawn got its first mow in four weeks (shrugs shoulders) and the garden got some long-needed attention. I also busted out the arbor saw and trimmed the oak tree back some more, so that the green stuff on the ground that resembles grass actually gets some sunlight and has a chance to grow.

In other unrelated news, we joined a phalanx of geekdom on Saturday morning to line up outside a mall and visit the grand opening of the Columbia Apple Store, which, by MapQuest's figuring, is only 9.24 miles from our house. Living in a major metropolitan area has its privileges. Dave joined us for the wait, and we entered the store to applause (?!?) and joined the masses filing around looking at pretty hardware. Jen fell in love immediately with the 30" Cinema display—and who wouldn't, really—while I peeped the MacBooks for the first time and also got an eyeful of the new 24" iMac. After some quality ogling time and a brief discussion, we collected our free T-shirts and headed out. On the ride home, I considered the idea of a second job, but Jen reminded me that I don't have enough time to finish my own work, let alone work retail hours. Still, the idea is strangely appealing....

Posted on September 26, 2006 9:22 AM | link to this entry | Comments (5)

September 22, 2006

Morning Glories

Jen planted a morning glory vine under our dining room window. It's going absolutely insane this week.

the triplets below are new buds.

Posted on September 22, 2006 1:20 PM | link to this entry

September 20, 2006

Grumble

I just wrote a long post about how annoyed I am with small-minded clients, but I'm going to leave that one as a draft and not publish it. Suffice it to say, I've had my fill of parties who don't listen to good advice.

Posted on September 20, 2006 2:40 PM | link to this entry | Comments (3)

September 19, 2006

Bantam

This marks the second week of working 14-hour days here at Idiot Central. Actually, it could be the third, as I was working double-time up until I left for SF, but I don't remember that far back.

I did decide, however, that my previous conclusion about a new Mac was faulty—after spending time traveling with a balky ThinkPad and an anemic iBook, I'm going to save my shekels for a MacBook (and maybe a MacBook Pro, if I can swing it) for several reasons: Being able to run a separate monitor for presentations, portability, and power. I just wish the RAM wasn't so damned expensive.

Posted on September 19, 2006 12:23 PM | link to this entry

September 17, 2006

Wine Tasting in Sonoma

I didn't mention much about our trip to Sonoma last week, but I'll give a brief synopsis here: After reading a confusing map and crossing the same bridge three times, we explored the sunny hills of Sonoma, Napa's more spread-out and less traveled neighbor. Our first stop was the beautiful Schug vineyard, where Jen and I actually bought a delicious, dry sauvigon blanc (a white?!) and we got our first buzz on.

From there we tried Cline, where they offered a sample of fresh grapes from the vine and a selection of rich, full-bodied reds. (Cline also features the actual Red Truck from the label you may have seen.) After some more obfuscation, we found Ravenswood on a sloping hill outside town, climbed some stairs and sampled a variety of wines not offered outside the vineyard, of which we bought two.

Our final stop, after trying to find Gundlach Bundschu (it's somewhere outside of town, but all signs led to nowhere) was the Castle tasting room in town, where a wonderful lady led us through all fifteen or so wines offered. From Castle we walked around the square and found an Italian restaurant, paid a $15 corkage fee, and enjoyed a hearty dinner.

Posted on September 17, 2006 12:24 PM | link to this entry

September 16, 2006

View Lodge Motel

California—well, the whole west coast in general—is a neon lover's paradise. In Santa Cruz, there were about ten motels within spitting distance of the beach (naturally), each with its own excellent signage. This kind of signage exists over here in precious few places, so whenever I see it I shoot it.

Posted on September 16, 2006 10:55 PM | link to this entry

September 15, 2006

Cable Cars

The boardwalk in Santa Cruz was pretty much closed for the season when we were there, which offered us the peculiar opportunity to walk around with everything closed. Jen told me The Lost Boys was filmed there—I could almost imagine one of the Coreys ~~doing coke~~ running around the empty attractions hunting vampires.

Posted on September 15, 2006 9:51 AM | link to this entry

September 14, 2006

Viewfinder

An old-skool telescope on the "boardwalk" in Santa Cruz.

Posted on September 14, 2006 8:47 PM | link to this entry

Stinkpad

I'm about to throw my stupid PC laptop out the window. When I was in San Francisco, I started having problems getting it to shut down (it would say, "Saving Your Personal Settings" or something like that for about ten minutes, kick the fan on, and do nothing) and then it began having problems starting up.

Now, I can't get into the stupid thing at all. When it's working, it's great, but why can't IBM design a laptop to reliably go to sleep without hosing itself? Or is it a software issue? I mean, come on.

Update: Looks like it might have something to do with ZoneAlarm, which suddenly started sucking CPU cycles and refusing to load. After uninstalling it completely, I have Windows Firewall activated. Which is a lot like using an umbrella to prepare for an F5 tornado. Fucking PCs.

Posted on September 14, 2006 11:49 AM | link to this entry

September 13, 2006

Muir Woods

We're back in Baltimore after a wonderful trip to California. The weather is cold and rainy, not at all like the cool, sunny weather we enjoyed all last week, so I'm posting a picture of the redwoods with some sunshine breaking through the crown to remind myself how much I needed some fresh perspective.

Posted on September 13, 2006 3:29 PM | link to this entry

September 11, 2006

Stupid Dumb Technology.

I'd love to post a selection of photos I've taken in the Bay Area this past weekend, but I seem to be having a problem with Flickr's upload process-the photos never make it online.

Suffice it to say, we drank gallons of wine and got lost in Sonoma, hiked through Muir Woods and crossed the Golden Gate, attempted to have a martini at the Top of the Mark (but settled for a Blue Hawaii in the Tonga Room), and ate some killer sushi in Bernal Heights. Matt & Soph are as fun as ever, and after an evening of catching up, I felt like eight years on different coasts never existed.

Posted on September 11, 2006 12:53 PM | link to this entry

September 8, 2006

Offsite.

The last couple of days have been very busy. I'm set up in an office building in San Mateo where the workmen are still installing network cable, painting drywall and cleaning up dust. The desk I'm at only came out of the IKEA boxes a week or two ago. In a lot of ways I feel like it's 1999 again, except for the fact that I'm not an employee, and that I have to leave for home in a couple of days.

It's been a good week so far, though. I hit the ground running Monday morning, and put in an eleven-hour day before Eastern Standard Time caught up with me. The people working here are wickedly smart—smart enough that I feel like I'm too dumb to belong in a conference room with them—but they've been friendly and welcoming to the country mouse who blew in from Maryland and suddenly told them their cobbled-together business cards looked like shit and that there's been a design approved and ready since last December, had they seen it?

Today is my final day on site, and then I become virtual again, a voice on a phone and a blinking 6AM email message. I'm going to miss the excitement of feeling like a hired gun on a mission, but I won't miss the lousy hotel bed. I really shouldn't complain, though, because it's an exceptionally cheap room with a kitchenette, which came in handy for reheating my Thai leftover dinner last night, and it's less than a mile from the office. This part of California is strange, because in order to get from my hotel to the office, I cross two highway overpasses, one canal, and under two more overpasses. The grid structure here is very mixed as well, which means there's no empty space—malls adjoin suburbs, which are overshadowed by high-rise offices, which butt up to freeways, which dump out into feeder roads everywhere. I now understand why some of the first and most successful internet ventures incubated from the Bay Area were mapping applications, because I wouldn't be able to find my own ass with a flashlight out here without Mapquest.

Happily, my lovely wife is on a plane headed West to join me this afternoon, and we're going to spend the next three days enjoying the warm, sunny California air. My old friends from college have invited us out for cocktails this evening, and we're heading to Napa tomorrow to get shitfaced, and from there, the weekend is an open book. Which, I've recently learned, is the way I like it.

Posted on September 8, 2006 11:45 AM | link to this entry

September 6, 2006

Daddy Likes.

24" iMac. The way I'd configure it, it'd be $2,500, though. To quote Napoleon Dynamite: "Flippin' sweet."

Posted on September 6, 2006 1:03 PM | link to this entry

September 4, 2006

Laboring Day.

I can't imagine a better subject for this Labor Day than an icon of Mexico from the early 1900's, a man who fought and died for the rights of the common man to own his own land and farm it. I also can't think of a better way to end out the Alphabet Project than to honor a revolutionary who stood up for what he believed in.

Posted on September 4, 2006 10:14 PM | link to this entry

September 3, 2006

Dateline: McCarran Intl. Airport.

I've called a lot of things a lot of names over the years I've been writing online, but McCarran Airport holds a special place in the HATE wing of my heart. I've just spent five hours on a cramped Airbus A320, stuffed cheek-to-jowl with all the other rabble, and the first thing I see getting off the plane before the Departures sign is a bank of slot machines going boink boink BING-bong boink binkety-bink in endless repetition as all the cattle from the rest of the country get off their planes and walk directly to the machines that legally take their money. (Didn't you morons get enough of that at the McCasino?) Correspondingly, the boarding announcements are jacked up to ear-shredding decibel levels because normal volumes can't be heard over the slot machines.

It's an airport that looks like it might have been a blast in 1965, but It sure does suck in 2006.

update: Oh, goody! Some asshole just won something! Let's go play the slot machines too! boink boink BING-bong boink binkety-bink!