Popular Mechanics recently published a list of 25 things that every man should know how to do, and this made me think back to a conversation I had with Jen about her skydiving experience and things we’d like to do before we die. She asked me what was on my list, and I could only think of a few things in the moment, which kind of disturbed me. I know I’ve got a bunch of things I still want to learn to do and experience, and I’ve crossed a couple off the last couple of years, but I haven’t edited The List in a long time. So I’m going to come up with the 2007 version this week and post it here.
In the meantime, I reviewed the Popular Mechanics list and noted what I’ve done and what I’ve not done, for your enjoyment:
1. Patch a radiator hose
I did this in the Scout with a couple of spare hose clamps and some duct tape until I could limp to a Wal-Mart and get a fixit kit. That was a white-knuckle ride home, lemme tell you (the spare was in my basement).
2. Protect your computer
Um, duh.
3. Rescue a boater who has capsized
If righting an overturned canoe counts here, I’ve had plenty of experience. If we’re talking about a big cabin cruiser, I’m throwing ‘em a life jacket and calling the Coast Guard.
4. Frame a wall
Done it, several times, over wood and concrete. Concrete is a pain in the ass.
5. Retouch digital photos
Are you kidding?
6. Back up a trailer
I actually did this today in the Jeep. I’ve also done it in a Ford F350 stakebody with no rear visibility on a county highway. Big fun.
7. Build a campfire
Come on. I smelled like woodsmoke every day from the ages of 11 to 16.
8. Fix a dead outlet
Heh, I got a whole house to show you. I also have the remains of a circa 1935 two-prong bakelite outlet which crumbled in my hands as I pulled it from the wall.
9. Navigate with a map and compass
This one is on my list. I have an idea of how it works, but I’d like to get educated.
10. Use a torque wrench
Another one on my list. I know how it works and what the theory is, but I’ve never used one myself.
11. Sharpen a knife
I’ve done this poorly several times, but I know how it’s supposed to work. I’m assuming one needs to practice.
12. Perform CPR
I want to take a class in this. Never done it.
13. Fillet a fish
No, I’ve never fileted a fish. I’d like to learn how.
14. Maneuver a car out of a skid
I can both bust the rear tires loose and get them back under me again.
15. Get a car unstuck
Which do you prefer, snow, mud or sand? I’ve dug out more cars from the snow than I care to remember, and unslogged the Scout from both muddy fields and Assateague sand. Given the choice, I prefer snow.
16. Back up data
Do it every week. Don’t you?
17. Paint a room
If I had a nickel for every room I’ve painted, I could put myself through grad school.
18. Mix concrete
Done this a bit; I even got my future wife to mix it with me, bless her heart.
19. Clean a bolt-action rifle
I don’t know how to do this, but I very much want to learn. Also a revolver and an automatic.
20. Change oil and filter
Yep. A VW bus, Nissan Sentra, Mazda pickup, Honda CRX, the Scout, and the Tortoise. I’ve never changed the Jeep’s oil, though.
21. Hook up an HDTV
*sniff* I don’t own one, but I’d like to practice.
22. Bleed brakes
I did this once, reading from a shop manual, and was very nervous about it. But I’m still alive, and the car stopped when I told it to.
23. Paddle a canoe
Yep, I’ve done this quite a bit too, and sunk them as well (see above). I’d like to own my own canoe someday, too.
24. Fix a bike flat
Many flats been changed, both in the woods and in the city.
25. Extend your wireless network
Is this for real? I can think of so many other things that are more important than this. For example:
1. Drive a stickshift. Then learn to double-clutch a stickshift.
2. Cook a steak dinner
3. Disassemble and clean a carburetor
4. Select the proper wine for dinner
5. Handmake an anniversary/birthday card
6. Change a tire (it astounds me how many men I know cannot do this)
7. Plant a garden and grow vegetables
8. Shingle a roof
9. Hang drywall
10. Cut, install and sweat copper piping.
11. Wash and fold laundry (I’m still working on this one)
12. Iron a dress shirt without burning it
13. Hang a door
14. Change a diaper
15. Play a musical instrument
16. Change brake pads
17. Give a foot, back and scalp massage
What have I missed?