Operation: Pissing In The Wind, Part 1.

I spent all the free time I had this weekend kneeling in the ice room beneath the office building kneewalls for insulation. The idea is to add R-14 along the exposed sections of outside wall in an attempt to retain as much heat as possible, while keeping costs as low as possible.

Firstly, I had to seal up the lousy masonry with hydraulic cement, making sure everything is air and water-tight. Hydraulic cement is interesting stuff; it hardens in minutes, so it's best to apply with nothing more than gloves. Imagine mixing small batches of oatmeal and then smearing it all over the wall before it turns to stone.
Once that was done, I started constructing the frames. For a grand total of around $60, I got two 12' lengths of wall completed this afternoon, with two more left to do.

Additionally, because it seems to be the only window in the whole house with a correctly sized, in-stock premade replacement, I ripped the ancient, original hopper window out and installed a new one. I've been paranoid about this particular window since we moved in, because it's semi-visible from the road and looked about as secure as a convertible with the top down. For $120, we got a vinyl dual-pane slider with a low U rating that fit almost perfectly. I find that these projects get easier and quicker as I do them; this one took about two hours minus a trip for pressure-treated lumber. Eventually, I'll order three more for the rear and replace them as well.

After the basement section is done, I'm most likely going to have to crawl up into the attic above the porch ceiling and add another layer there as well. I'm really looking forward to that.

Posted on November 2, 2008 8:55 PM | link to this entry | comments (1)

Creeping Toward The Finish Line

After two days of all-out work, I've got the porch very close to completion. The baseboards, toe molding, and finish molding are all in and painted. Network drops are wired and ready. Jen picked out a beautiful Pratt-Lambert light gray for the walls, which keeps the room light, neutral, and accents the bright white woodwork. The only things that remain are the drywall above the door to the bathroom, which needs to be primed and painted, and areas around the switchplates which need to be sanded, primed and painted.

There is a little touch-up to be done with the color here and there, but I'll wait until the other stuff is ready to go.

Posted on September 14, 2008 9:15 PM | link to this entry | comments (5)

New Doors Are Here.

Two new doors were delivered yesterday while I was painting trim, and my excitement got the better of me. So I put one of them in last night and covered up the hole above it. This evening I'm going to try and get the last of the woodworking done (baseboards and door molding) so that we can get some paint on the walls.

Posted on September 10, 2008 12:12 PM | link to this entry | comments (3)

Sanding, Part 2.

Sunday afternoon, I rented an edging sander and worked my way around the porch.

Before:

After:

Using an edger is like wrestling a greased pig while trying to thread a needle. One must be very careful with the machine, as it will take off a quarter-inch of wood in only a few seconds. My forearms, knees, and lower back sound like the audience of the Jerry Springer Show this morning.

Returning the sander last evening, I lucked into a clearance sale on 1"x6"x10' board—something I've never seen before—and bought all of the baseboard wood for half the normal price. I think I may be going back today to get more for the den.

Posted on August 25, 2008 9:08 AM | link to this entry | comments (1)

Sand In My Shoe.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled weblog for a day of floor sanding. More to come at 5.

Update:

Compare:

Here's a shot of the other side. That black line in the middle is where the original porch ended back in 1920-whatever, and where they just tacked a few pieces of wood in place to match up with the new addition. I have no idea what we're going to do about that part yet.

Posted on August 19, 2008 2:17 PM | link to this entry | comments (1)

New Molding.

Posted on August 9, 2008 6:04 PM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Let There Be Light.

Could I be happier? No, I don't think I could be.

Posted on July 31, 2008 6:16 PM | link to this entry | comments (4)

Windows, Day One

This is what happens when you hire professionals to work on your house: shit gets done right. We are HAPPY.

Posted on July 30, 2008 3:55 PM | link to this entry | comments (2)

That Could Have Gone Better.

Remember when we were kids, and we'd play games out in the street or in someone's backyard, and we'd call a do-over? Somebody'd kick the ball into a bush, or a car would come down the road right in the middle of an important play, and it was universally understood that things would just rewind a couple of minutes and start again, like erasing a videotape. Well, I'd like a do-over for most of yesterday, please.

It started out on an upbeat note; Mr. Scout brought over the window regulator for the Jeep and we tore the door down to put it in; unfortunately, the part was not a match to the one in my Jeep, and there seemed to be no way to use parts from the replacement to fix the broken unit.

We then decided to take advantage of the weather and go back to the pick & pull yard to hunt more Jeeps. It seems that parts (and part vehicles) are more plentiful for Grand Cherokees than for the regular model, both online and in the junkyard, and my particular model (2-door, second generation, power window) is even rarer than the 4-door. We did however find a junked PT Cruiser, which featured luxurious bucket seats that are supposed to be bolt-in replacements for Scout seats. Eight bolts later, we were walking up to the pay area with the seats on our heads, but not before making a detour to a section of the yard we hadn't seen before, featuring some ancient Detroit iron: a three-porthole Buick, a rounded early 50's Ford, and a pair of Opels, among other things. I shot about ten pictures, and we were on our way. As we got up to the counter, the redneck in charge of shoplifting told me they have a strict no-camera policy, and made me erase my memory card after giving me some bullshit about smashing lenses.

Returning to the Scout we'd found last week, we pulled a lot of plastic and other rare parts, having no luck pulling the hubs or the seat bases. It was about this time I checked my phone and found this lovely sight:

I don't know when or how it happened, but it was enough to ruin my day right there. Strangely, I can still call in and out, and the touchscreen still works on the damaged areas. I'm going to visit the Apple store to see if there's some kind of repair they can make; if not, it looks like I'll be purchasing a 3G iPhone earlier than I planned.

My afternoon was spent working on an illustration; I decided to experiment with an idea I'd had a few months ago to see what results I'd get, using the negative space instead of the positive. The results were a lot less than I'd hoped for.

The linework looks cheaper, like a quick marker drawing, and not expressive like I'd imagined. It also could be because I've been having problems getting my cutting nibs to vary line weights properly—they seem to get dull very quickly, which is not what I'm used to. If I could regulate line weight better, I'd be happier with the results.

I took the same sketch and started making a traditional cut, and about three-quarters of the way through I realized the initial sketch, while reasonably good, did not capture McCain the way it should, and the resulting piece looks like someone else (Jen says it's Ed McMahon). His head is not as long as I'd made it here, and his distinguishing features aren't represented well enough.

There were several highlights from yesterday, so it's not like I was constantly followed by a black stormcloud: we have Andersen 400-series windows officially on order for the front porch. Jen had a great client meeting on a new project, and we got our second delivery from the organic farm (I don't know how we're going to eat all this lettuce, chard, and spinach). I was just hoping to produce a success of my own, something I'm sure everyone can understand.

So it's back to the drawing board for Jeep, phone, and scratchboard.

Update: One trip to the Apple Store, my choices were thus:

1. Continue to use the busted phone and guess at everything on the left side of the screen.
2. Wait until July and buy a new 3G iPhone for $200, but take an additional $10/mo. hit on my data plan.
3. Spend $250 to replace my iPhone with another 1st gen model.

I chose 3, because I'd love to have the 3G but I don't want to pay AT&T an additional $120/mo. for features I may not even use. As it was, when the Genius rang me out, he told me happily they'd just reduced the replacement cost from $250 to $199, so I "saved" a little more money.

Upon inspection of the iPhone cases available at the store, only a select few might have protected my phone from catastrophic screen damage, and they tended to be the ugliest offerings on the shelf. (Imitation calfskin? stitched black leather? I don't think so).

Posted on June 13, 2008 8:56 AM | link to this entry | comments (2)

Hardwood.

This is what an hour's work with a crowbar and a David Sedaris CD will result in; much of the floor here is in great shape, which makes me wonder why the ever covered it in the first place.

Posted on June 6, 2008 10:48 AM | link to this entry | comments (3)

File Under: No Thank You.

Damn. I just got a quote from Renewal by Andersen which included custom-built new windows, installation, and warranty. The cost of one of their windows was more than all six of the off-the-shelf windows I was originally considering, and three times the amount of the windows we picked out on Tuesday. The entire bill was enough to make me dizzy.

Posted on May 30, 2008 11:59 AM | link to this entry | comments (0)

This is How We Renovate...In the Ghetto.

My original intent, when I began the front porch renovation, was to keep the costs low by using off-the-shelf materials to replace the crap I was tearing out. I'd looked at stuff at the local superstores and found inexpensive candidates, but I knew I'd have to special-order certain things (windows) because nothing in this house is standard size.

With that in mind, I've been hemming and hawing over the replacement windows for weeks now, unsure of my plans. The window openings on the porch were all framed in by drunks, so their heights all vary by as much as an inch, and the horizontal level is off by at least a half-inch. In order to figure out what I was going to do (and what shape the framing was in), I pulled all three of the front-facing jalousie windows out on Monday to see what I was dealing with. The base of the frame on the far right was in terrible shape, and I had to pull the entire thing out in order to see what I was dealing with. For a temporary fix, I cut sheets of plywood down and nailed them up until we got our new windows delivered.

Aaaaaaand, here's where things go south.

Returning to Lowe's Tuesday with my 10% off coupon, Jen and I looked at the off-the-shelf offerings, and she helped me realize how shitty they look. The mullions (crossbars on the top window) were inside the glass, which looks funny from the outside, and the entire window is covered with a screen, which is ugly. After some discussion, we got a quote for better quality replacement windows which turned out to be about three times as much as I was originally expecting—not what I was hoping for. With the coupon and a firm quote I figure it will go down to about twice my original budget, but this is still putting a major dent in our plans. I've got a couple calls in to the better window companies to see what decent replacement windows will cost; I'm not expecting miracles but I'm hoping for one. The hard part will be getting a quote for the windows minus installation fees; I'm pretty sure that's where their markup lives.

Meanwhile, eating our breakfast in the upstairs bedroom has gotten more exciting due to the looks of shock and awe of the passers-by as they crane their necks trying to figure out what happened to the front of the house.

Outside, we wrapped a couple of branches of the cherry trees so that we might be able to enjoy some of the fruit this spring. With the exception of the Year of the Locust (when plentiful, if earthy-flavored food was burrowing out of the ground all summer), the birds have cleaned out all of the ripening red cherries before we've been able to taste it. The grape arbor also got wrapped on Monday to keep the bunches protected for the season (and to keep the vines off the stairwell).

* * *

In other strange news, I had a dream last night where I was asked by Daft Punk to sit in on one of their concerts. I knew all the parts to the songs, but the "instrument" they stood me in front of was like no other I had ever seen, and made no sense. They got pissed at me when I couldn't figure out how to play it (it was like a vibraphone stood on its side, with lots of added glowing sampler buttons that made no sense), yelled at me in French, and kicked me off the stage. I was so psyched to put on a helmet and a jumpsuit and rock out, too.

Posted on May 29, 2008 10:47 AM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Back to the Salt Mines.

It's been quiet around here lately. I don't have anything really exciting to tell you about, so I'll show some pictures.

This is a thrilling picture of our side lawn. Notice the patch of slightly darker grass near the garden planter? That's where our ghetto sidewalk used to be. Jen gave me the all-clear to knock it apart and pull the concrete up a few weeks ago, and we were just now able to find some sod to drop in its place. Who knew sod was hard to find? Apparently it gets delivered right before the weekend and sells out almost immediately. We bought a bunch on a cold Thursday night, and I put it in on a rainy Sunday morning, just in time for a week of cold rain to help it grow.

This is a picture of the new wiring in the shared bathroom wall. I spent a good portion of Sunday running up and down the basement stairs, elbow-deep in insulation, trying to fish wire through small holes in the floor. After a half-hour of false starts, I realized that Ma Bell had already blazed a clear trail for me, and replaced two thick Eisenhower-era cable runs with new copper. I was actually able to get two cable and two data lines run before I ran out, which means there's 800+ feet of ethernet wire fished throughout this house.

Looking at the picture above, you'd think I would have used the handcart Dave left for me in the Big Red Truck to move the sink and radiator out of the bathroom and into the garage. That would have been the smart thing to do. I'm not so smart, so there they sit. Thanks anyway, Dave!

Behind all that heavy porcelain is the exam room, which is now finally devoid of blown fiberglas insulation, a task I was avoiding until I realized it was eventually going to get hot again, and if there's anything worse than bagging up loose fiberglas insulation, it's bagging insulation in 90° heat. (I've done it, and don't care to ever do it again.)

I then installed a bunch of insulation in the east wall after the cable went in. Finally, I disassembled one of the beautiful jalousie windows on the front of the house to see how difficult their removal will be; after ten minutes with a flathead screwdriver, I had one ready to push out onto the front lawn. In the next few days, I'm going to order six new windows for the front of the house and get things ready for installation.

Posted on May 20, 2008 11:51 AM | link to this entry | comments (4)

The Right Tool For The Right Job.

I've found all kinds of evidence of cost cutting here at the Estate, perpetrated by contractors, handymen, journeymen and bums who may have been "going through rough patches", trading services, or simply drunk on the job. Scavenged, straightened nails, scrap lumber joined to form studs, leftover wire joined by junction boxes doubling back and forth through walls where it could reach the farthest. THis kind of thing is so common now that I've factored in the added cost of redoing everything I touch, and my SOP is to gut everything to the bones so that I can fix everything possible.

With that in mind, I had to pull a section of floor underlayment out in order to install a wall between the bathroom and the office last week. As I started levering out the fibrous board, I realized the floor tile installers were probably the only professionals ever to enter the house, because they used approximately three metric tons of ring shank nails to hold everything down. Now for a little tool edumocation: Ring shank nails are specially designed with threads along the body to go into wood and stay there, offering twice as much withdrawal resistance than an average nail of the same size. This makes them specially suited for jobs like floor underlayment, where thousands of pounding feet over the course of years on the corner of a board will eventually work the average nail loose, leaving a maddening squeak in its place.

I've had experience, too much experience, with ring shank nails. They were used elsewhere in this house but applied with a fraction of the brio evidenced here: one nail every two inches, and on sixteens (every foot and a half, following the floor joists). Using a hammer to pull them is a joke, because they're designed to go in but not to come out. The heads shrivel and wilt like flowers in August drought, leaving their sharp stems sticking defiantly out of the wood. Of course, they can be driven below the surface with a hammer and a punch, but they have little or no shear (side to side) strength, so more often than not they'll bend or twist with one good hit. And if the floor has a date with the sander, the law of averages says they're going to shred a few belts.

My Dad had an old, blackened tool in his collection I always assumed was (and used) for snipping wire, but it was only recently that I learned of its purpose. End cutting pliers have a misleading name, because their primary design is not for cutting, it's for pulling. It's a blunt, wicked-looking tool with a shallow bite and a wide, curved jaw, designed with the same efficiency as a pitbull: It grabs the shank of a nail right below the head, and does not let go.

The curved edge is a lever very close to the fulcrum, which provides more focused power than a hammer and doubles to hold the jaw closed as that little SOB comes out. If, by some chance, the nail gives way before it comes out, a squeeze on the handle will snip the head as close the floor as you can get it. A tap with a punch will drive the remainder into the wood below sander depth.

I had to do some sleuthing to find a new one, because your average Home SuperStore doesn't carry them (or, at least, their websites don't) and I've got better things to do than wander the aisle of a Tool Corral trying to find where a stoned 17-year-old hid them last year.

I found mine at the local Ace hardware in under two minutes, and after I got it home I was pulling ring shank nails like daisies. I bought the 8" Ace store brand for $13. Buy something large enough to fit comfortably in your palm, because if your job is anything like mine, you'll be pulling nails for a long afternoon.

Posted on April 28, 2008 4:58 PM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Lights and Music.

Last night, we threw the switch on our new lights—well, both switches. This marks the first working three-way switch in the entire house. We also have eight working outlets to choose from, instead of one. Halleleujah!

Unfortunately, our sleuthing uncovered more asstacular wiring in the basement. My electrician says the strange arrangement of cable runs and junction boxes points to lazy work by contractors of questionable pedigree—they used scrap wire rolling around in the back of the truck instead of using new runs. So our bill will get larger as he replaces the fire-hazards, but I'll sleep better at night knowing the house won't burn down when I plug a lamp in the odd socket in the dining room.

I had to build a new partition wall for the bathroom two nights ago so that he could install outlets and switches, something that I haven't done in a long time. All of my measuring and re-measuring worked out perfectly, though: the walls are square and true with each other, thank god.

Posted on April 23, 2008 10:50 AM | link to this entry | comments (2)

Office Space.

So there's new ceiling joists on the porch as of last week. As we puzzled out how to set the whole thing up, the true picture of how off-level the porch frame actually is came into focus. As illustrated by the picture below, the tops of the windows aren't square, level, or in line with each other, which will make installation of new windows tricky and time-consuming. And speaking of tricky and time-consuming...

A portion of my Saturday was spent yanking and widening the old doorframe to the porch in preparation for installation of a new exterior grade French door, which will allow light to pass through the space and keep the heat inside the office space. Eventually this will be an outside door when the other side of the porch gets opened up. Hanging doors is one of my least favorite occupations besides wrestling feral badgers and shoveling bison poo, but hanging a pre-hung unit takes about 95% of the pain and suffering out of the process. It's not the most beautiful of doors (we can't afford the pretty ones), but it was inexpensive and it's level and it shuts perfectly. And that's good enough for me right now.

Today our electrician is back for Round One of electrical fun, where he kills one circuit to yank some ancient, crumbling wire, and a light on the other side of the house goes out. I shit you not: we killed a circuit on the north wall of the front porch, and two lights on the west side of the basement went dead.

Behold, the Master Plan:

When it's done, we'll have two separate baseboard circuits in the office for all the equipment we'll have running there, six recessed lighting fixtures with three-way switches at each door, and six data drops. That way we'll allow power and connectivity for any possible reconfiguration of the space. The skylight is still in the "possible" category, but it's not a done deal yet, based on pricing and weather. (Having already cut a hole in the roof my previous house, I can testify that it's possibly one of the most anxiety-laden remodeling jobs out there).

One thing at a time.

Update: There will be no skylight. Too much hassle, not enough time. Plus, I'd rather spend the money on good windows.

Posted on April 21, 2008 10:48 AM | link to this entry | comments (4)

New Ceiling!

Yesterday I was lucky enough to have Mr. Scout stop by with air-powered tools and a method for leveling the ceiling, which involved more demolition and a lot of joist hangers. In about five hours, we (well, he and his working partner) hung most of the rafters while I demoed the rest of the bathroom wall and hauled debris. Words cannot describe my gratitude.

Posted on April 17, 2008 6:06 PM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Back In Business.

We're back on the air with DSL as of this afternoon; the nice technician called my cellphone from the pole and asked me how many lines we have in the house. Apparently the wire that was supposed to be hooked up to a certain part of the panel was not; the reason for the outage is still unexplained. Whatever the case, I don't care—I'm sick and tired of Panera.

There's been little progress on the porch since Saturday other than a long session with the shop vac, which makes working in there much more enjoyable. I have a pile of fresh new lumber and an itch to start rebuilding, but I need a consult before I can get started.

Posted on April 15, 2008 7:58 PM | link to this entry | comments (0)

No More Ceiling.

What a frickin' disaster. I'm going to be hanging lots of new studs and beams this weekend, and become intimately acquainted with the laser level. Good times.

Posted on April 11, 2008 4:11 PM | link to this entry | comments (2)

Porch update.

Last night I was given a very appreciated hand by Clifford's dad Dave in demolishing the last portion of the ceiling, bagging the insulation, and removal of the huge air conditioner hanging off the back porch. However, the weatherpeople on the teevee lied to me and said it would be sunny today, which it's...not.

Posted on April 9, 2008 11:33 AM | link to this entry | comments (0)

The Sky Is Falling.

This is the result of another five hours spent on the front porch yesterday. Half the ceiling is gone. The drywall around the front doorway is down, and there are twenty contractor's bags full of blown fiberglas insulation waiting to go out on the truck.

I'm taking a break today, because my ass is kicked.

Posted on April 7, 2008 9:43 AM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Weekend Boom, Saturday.

Looking in towards the bathroom. All the drywall is down, and the studs between the bathroom and the front room are completely gone.

Looking towards the front door from the far corner. There's only a short section of drywall on the walls left to remove, and then the ceiling comes down. Have I mentioned how much I hate blown fiberglas insulation?

I've hauled, at a conservative estimate, a ton of debris with Clifford (If the two truckloads I hauled with Mr. Scout equalled 3/4 ton, the three truckloads I moved on Friday and Saturday have to be at least a ton) and for his continued indulgence I have to say THANK YOU, DAVE.

Posted on April 6, 2008 11:25 AM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Now With More Boom.

Last night I was out in the office until 10PM demolishing everything I could see. The good news is that there's pretty pine flooring under the carpet all the way from the bathroom to the front door. The bad news is that I have at least two truckloads of debris to haul out, and it's supposed to rain today and tomorrow.

Posted on April 4, 2008 1:06 PM | link to this entry | comments (0)

Boom

This is a shot of the old office, looking into the bathroom and through to the exam room beyond. There was green carpeting, then padding, then lots of tiles (stacked on the floor) that came up with a crowbar. Dark reddish paneling covered the walls. And see the framing for the wall between the bathroom? That came after the floor was put down, which means this whole area was one open space at some point. This house gets more and more confusing as I pull away at the edges.

Posted on April 3, 2008 4:37 PM | link to this entry | comments (1)

Big Red Truck.

There's really not a whole lot to talk about today. The internets are boring, and it's a gray, rainy day outside.

But in brighter news, our buddy Dave, who is always doing nice things for us, swapped our Jeep for his Ford F-350 pickup yesterday. I figure he must have spotted me Sanford & Sonning a load of 2x4x10's out the passenger window of the Jeep Saturday (their combined weight would easily have broken the roof rack) and he took pity on me. So the problem this week is to get as much demolished as possible while I have an all-purpose utility vehicle to haul it away in—the crap on the floor and out in the garage goes first—and then I move on to the front porch. Fortunately/unfortunately, I have a bunch of paying work to wade through first, so I can't start swinging any hammers until that's complete. Thanks Dave!

Posted on March 31, 2008 12:59 PM | link to this entry | comments (0)

More Boom.

This morning I got back to work in the exam room after a week's absence and a gnawing hunger to break more stuff reached the boiling point. When last we left off, the huge pile of debris had disappeared and the walls in the main office were laid bare to the studs.

I started by shutting off the water to the sink and disconnecting the trap; moving it into the front room was easy. The toilet, however, has some ass-tacular piping that won't fully shut off. The drunken plumber who extended the lines into the bathroom used a mixture of copper, pvc, chewing gum and prayer to get water to the toilet, and because of a $0.39 plastic faucet I can't yank it. So that will all be coming out when the lines get moved.

After cursing an empty room for a while, I started dropping the cieling over the bathroom, which was installed about a foot lower than the exam room, in line with the front porch roof beyond. Several things became clear as the drywall came down; one of which was that the carpenter must have been related to the plumber, or possibly drinking buddies. The second was that the ends of the joists in the blue bedroom above were open to the uninsulated air above the porch, resulting in very cold floors during the winter.

Next, I took a crowbar to the rest of the bathroom walls, pulling down the nasty red paneling and the nastier sheetrock underneath. The carpenters must have been in a hurry, because half the studs they installed were studs in theory alone: two short pieces of scrap wood joined to make one long piece. Thankfully, the end studs were whole, which meant the walls never fell down.

Continuing out into the front office, I found that the outer wall came later than the inner wall, because it was framed over the drywall on the ceiling and the nice pine flooring. This is perplexing. It means neither of these walls are load-bearing in the traditional sense; It also means I'll probably have to yank some of the office ceiling down to see what I'm framing against.

Looking around this week, I found Lowe's has stock Pella store-brand windows that are almost exactly the size we need; $100 will get us a white double-hung window with a low-E rating and insulated glass to put in along the outside wall, which is definitely affordable. I'm thinking about six of them, possibly in a bank like the ones above, or maybe spread out in pairs of two.

Doors seem to be relatively inexpensive, too: I found a prehung wooden single French door for a little under $200, but I'll probably have to special order it. And then, there are toilets and sinks....

Posted on March 22, 2008 9:41 PM | link to this entry | comments (4)